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The Resolution Making Process
Making choices isn't easy and the worst thing is we're by no means taught the best way to make decisions. Nobody taught us this life skill as we're growing up. Nobody in school or at dwelling taught us. We only study by observation. And more often than not we observe people not knowing find out how to make a choice!
And one of the ineffective processes is within the making of a pros and cons list! And this is likely one of the hottest ways in which folks base their decisions on.
So the most common query I get from my students and shoppers is this: Do I make my choice based on logic or based mostly on what my coronary heart tells me? Ah, this is where we trip ourselves up BIG TIME. We regularly see logic and our emotions as two separate entities, because we've got not experienced them enough to be one unit. And we've not understood ourselves sufficient to know that they are interconnected.
Now let's play satan's advocate here: what's logic? The definition of logic is correct reasoning. However appropriate reasoning will not be the final word truth. Our reasoning relies on data we've in the meanwhile, and so logic expands or contracts depending on available data/information. This additionally means that logic can change or evolve as we evolve. Once we talk about logic, we seem to have a fixed concept that logic doesn't change. However once we talk about feelings/emotions, now we have no qualms about accepting that yes, our emotions/emotions do change depending on situations/circumstances.
If each logic and our feelings do evolve/rework, this implies that our determination-making process is actually much easier than we think. Why? We've a higher tolerance for things to change, and that even if we make a decision now primarily based on what we know, that decision has room to evolve as well because we're open to the concept we will have more info over time.
Ultimately, this signifies that we are able to only make decisions based on the present moment. I know this sounds kinda zen. However this is the only way we will move. We cannot live our lives stuck previously primarily based on past data, neither can we wait in anticipation of what's to come back, and be in paralysis, not knowing tips on how to make the decision. So we are able to only make choices based mostly on the present moment. Does this make sense to you?
The problem with us people is that we are so filled with fears that confront us in our aware and unconscious that it is sort of unattainable for most people to make decisions primarily based on the current moment. Most people cannot live like this. They need ensures in life, they want guarantees in success, they fear to be in pain, to be hurt. And so they just wish to management everything occurring of their lives, which we know's impossible.
Trying to control everything and wanting ensures shouldn't be residing, and it comes from a particularly egocentric perspective that you simply truly think you've got any type of management in any way, which stems from a narcissistic egomaniac mind! Are you able to imagine that most of humanity working this way?
Ultimately, what happens is that people start making decisions primarily based on their fears. "By no means trust your fears, they do not know your strengths" this is such a terrific quote! Our fears are brief-sighted and usually don't have any depth in perspective, and making our decisions based mostly on fears limits us, and prevents us from seeing more and additional, and it definitely keeps us in the loop of our comfort zone. We really feel a short lived sense of freedom, thinking we have now made the decision that serves us, but no matter selections we've got made that stems from worry will come back to hang-out us, it is only a matter of time.
As zen as it may sound, the best determination-making process is still one that's based on the current second, that feeds into our empowered state, and offers us a way of freedom to understand that: hey! I'm always free to change my perspective about things, individuals, situations and that I'm allowed to evolve.
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